3 Months

Dear Parker,

Three Months- wow!  So much has happened in such a short period of time.  I told someone this week that I am having a hard time remembering what you were like as a newborn because it seems so long ago.  You are looking more and more like a little boy and less like a baby.

This was a really big month with your first surgery.  You did so well, and you look so great already.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced, mainly because I hated watching you be in pain.  I would have done anything to trade places with you.  But we've gotten through the recovery period, and you are back to your happy, cheerful self!

happy boy

New things this month:
You are giggling like crazy these days.  Your smile takes up your whole face, and you laugh often throughout the day.

The past few days, you are really trying to roll over.  When you are on your back, you throw your hips to the side and are one solid kick away from being on your tummy.  This is so exciting!

Just a tiny bit more and you'll roll over!

Just like the books and websites tell me, you are definitely discovering your hands!  When I have you on my shoulder, you always rub my back or grip onto me.  You often are clasping your hands together at your chest or in your mouth.  You even try to keep your pacifier in your mouth or put it back if it falls out.

you are quite the drooler these days...that combined with your occasional whininess and chewing on Sophie the giraffe makes me wonder if you are teething...

Your head control is GREAT these days.  I can put you in the Bumbo by yourself and not have to reposition you or straighten you up.  You also continue to love bathtime.  You constantly kick your legs and splash water across the room.  You are so attentive when we read books before bed.  You stare at the pictures and are so still when we read.  I hope this means you'll grow up to be a big reader!

I love your sweet rolls!

best buddies

I started back to work just last week.  It is difficult to leave you on those mornings, but knowing I come home to you and your Dad makes the days pass quickly.  Miss Laura is taking such good care of you and it helps to know you are in such good hands.

right before bed- you are full of joy and laughter!

Your dad and I are so proud of you Sweet P.  You are a very laid back, content little boy.  It is so exciting to see your little personality coming out already.  We can't wait to see how this next month goes.  Your changes are very exciting, and we love every second that we get with you.

Love,
Mom

Look at this progression!!  It's amazing to see the changes!

Back to work

I love his big beautiful smile!

So this last week I returned to work in the ICU.  I was really really dreading going back.  I've told people that one of the things that has surprised me the most about becoming a mother is how much I have enjoyed being at home with Parker.  I have always been very career minded, and honestly, I was worried I would never find time to have children because there were just too many things I had left to do.  I have said before, "I would never be able to stay home with kids- I would go crazy!"  But being home with our son for 12 weeks has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life- I haven't been bored for a second.  All of that to say, I was shocked how fulfilling being a stay-at-home mom for 3 months could be.  I am going back to work part-time (two 12 hour shifts a week), and Wednesday was my first day.  What a surprise- it wasn't that bad!  In fact, in many ways it was a little refreshing to critically think and use my skill set that I've worked so hard to acquire.  I do love taking care of patients- even some of the crazy ones!  But overall, I think the best part of going back to work, and really what motivated me to return in the first place, is the amazing group of coworkers that I have.  I work with some really incredible people in an environment that is stressful, intense, and at times chaotic.  Having coworkers that work so well as a team is such a blessing.

Laura, Parker's nanny, is incredibly sweet and I think that it is going to be a great arrangement.  Parker does really well with her, and she seems to love him already.  I gave her a copy of our announcement and she told me that she has been showing her "new baby" off to all of her family and friends.  So sweet.  I'll have to get a picture of Parker and Laura.

Parker is getting more and more back to himself, minus his sleeping schedule.  It's amazing how quickly he changes.  Last week I wrote about how he is giggling and smiling like crazy.  He is also "talking" with us all of the time and loves our mimicry.  Then, last night- he almost rolled over!  When on his back, he usually just kicks and waves his arms.  All of a sudden he is rolling his hips over and just one strong kick away from flipping over both front to back and back to front.  I will keep you updated!

His incision site is looking great.  Dr. Chen told us it will be about 6 months before it "looks good."  For the next 6 months the lip will draw up on his left side towards his nose as it heals and then should drop into place.  We think it looks great already.  At the follow-up appointment on Wednesday, he told Spence that he was really pleased with it.  Parker's stents fell out after 4.5 days, and were supposed to stay in for ~2 months (oops!).  He said it was fine- leave them out.  We will go back in June to start planning for the palate surgery which he wants to do in September.  This is a little later than we originally thought, but we'll just roll with it.

He is really using his hands these days

As though he didn't resemble his father enough already- imagine my laughter when I walked into the room to see Parker by himself in the recliner with a coke and watching the golf tournament.  Wow....dejavu!

Recovery

I can't believe it's been a week since we showed up at the Children's Hospital for Parker's surgery.  He is doing so well right now, and I am just so impressed with how great he looks already!  His sutures all seem to have dissolved and his skin is healing nicely.  We have finally gone 24 hours without pain medicine, and he seems to be very comfortable.  And the boy definitely has gotten his appetite back.

What makes me the happiest is to see how joyful he is this week.  I have never seen him smile so much and he is now giggling constantly- sweetest sound ever!  You can definitely tell that he recognizes us and lights up when we interact with him.  He is also cooing like crazy and loves when we mimic him.  He just giggles and smiles every time we copy his sounds!!

Today is my last day of maternity leave!  I will be going back to work 2 days a week- 12 hour shifts.  I am a little apprehensive to leave Parker for such long days- that will definitely be my longest time ever away from him.  But, I am excited to see my awesome coworkers, put my critical thinking skills back to work, and take care of patients.  We have a very sweet lady, Laura, who will be Parker's new nanny when I work.

St. Patrick's Day fun with friends!

almost done with the no-nos.  surprisingly he doesn't mind them too much

still looks like his daddy

he is doing great in the bumbo.  he watched me prep for dinner last night from his special seat.

Parker smiled, and I mean REALLY smiled, for the first time since his surgery tonight during bath time

Parker continues to recover over the last few days.  We are just trying our hardest to control his pain, as well as encourage him to eat.  He hasn't had quite the voracious appetite as he did prior to his procedure.  I believe I forgot to mention that he came in with a whopping weight of 15 lbs. 3 oz the morning of surgery- what a monster!  This was such an answered prayer, especially as his appetite is limited now, I don't have to worry quite as much about his disinterest in eating.

playing in our new "jumperoo"

He has been sleeping a great deal while recovering

My stepmom shared this short devotional message written by Max Lucado with me yesterday.  There are so many times that I experience obstacles and setbacks, and I wonder, "why me, God?"  The Lord owes us no explanation, but there are so many times that we look back and see glimpses of how God uses our experiences for His glory and even for our benefit as well as the benefit of others.  To be honest, there were times I wondered why God would allow Parker to be born with his anomaly, thinking how unfair it all seemed- to him and us!  But I can't begin to describe how the Lord has used this situation in teaching and comforting Spencer and me, as well as using our circumstance to encourage others.  We have been fortunate to already have several opportunities to share Parker's story and our experience to encourage others in similar circumstances.

Encourage the Struggling (Max Lucado) Posted: 14 Mar 2012 11:00 PM PDT “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4” Encourage those who’re struggling?  Don’t know what to say?  Then, open your Bible. To the grief-stricken:  God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” To the jobless:  “In all things God works for the good of those who love him.” Are you a cancer survivor?  Someone in the cancer ward needs to hear from you. Have you buried a spouse and lived to smile again?  Then find the recently widowed and walk with them. Your experiences have deputized you!  Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 that God is the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials.  And why does He do this?  So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us!

Parker's new look

Yesterday started off early.  We had to keep Parker NPO after midnight, and arrived at the hospital at 5:30 a.m.  After all of the pre-op procedures, we walked P to the O.R. doors where we passed him off to the CRNA.  I won't lie- that was incredibly difficult to give Parker up, knowing he was going to be put to sleep and then operated on.  I was fighting off tears through the entire morning.

Parker in his gown before
surgery- he never cried even having
to go 7.5 hours without milk!

Everything went really well with the surgery.  Dr. Chen finished in just over an hour, and came out to tell us that it was a "textbook case" and he was very pleased with it.  He put 2 stents in his nares that are connected by a rubber ring.  These will stay in for ~2month, and are sutured in through the septum.  They will help keep the shape of his nostrils/cartilage.  The suture line on his lip is very clean and neat, and it is AMAZING how great everything looks so far!

After surgery- his face has a lot of swelling and bruising

Here you can see the rubber stents and ring in his nose as well as the suture line of his lip.

I last wrote about the emotions we were experien-cing prior to the surgery.  The strangest feelings we have had came in the post-operative recovery area.  The PACU nurse welcomed us in and was holding our baby, but his face didn't look like Parker.  It was a real shock to look at his new face.  Honestly, I am still getting used to it.  I don't want it to seem like this is such a focus, but the reality is that it is much more difficult to experience than you would ever believe.  As I've said, Dr. Chen warned us of this before Parker was ever born, and it's so true.  But with every passing moment, I'm getting more and more used to recognizing his new look.  I think that it will get easier once he starts smiling again and getting back to himself. 

Our hospital room.  Childlife brought a colorful mobile for his crib, and gave P a stuffed rabbit for his first Easter present.

The day of his surgery, he slept pretty much all day.  But he did take his bottle in PACU right after waking up.  We were moved to a room in the Children's Hospital where we stayed overnight.  He did pretty well, waking up every few hours to take some milk and then immediately falling back asleep.  This morning, he woke up seeming to be really uncomfortable and still had a bit of time before he could get pain medicine.  I rocked and held him close for ~45 minutes while he cried in pain.  Parker is not a fussy baby, and I felt helpless- it was pretty heartbreaking.  Since then, he's been a little whiney here and there, but fortunately continues to sleep most of the time as his body heals.  We were discharged home this afternoon.  The first post-op day is supposed to be the hardest, and it should get easier from here.

waking up to eat

Surprisingly, he takes the bottle really well

Overall, Parker has done so well!  He looks great, and I just can't believe that everything looks as good as it does.  We are giving him pain medicine around the clock, and hopefully will start tapering it off over the next few days.  Our whole experience with the Children's Hospital and their staff was wonderful.  He was well taken care of, as were we.  I'm anxious for Parker to start feeling better and for him to get back to his routine and his happy spirit.  Overall, we have the first step down, and have one less surgery to worry about.  Dr. Chen and all of the wonderful people who cared for our baby- thank you so much!  

At home- Parker wearing his "no-nos."  These are arm restraints that he has to wear for a week to prevent him from messing with his sutures and surgical site

The dogs were really excited to have Parker come home!

Look at this sweet baby boy!

Parker's First Surgery

The night before surgery

I'm writing this just past midnight going into the day of Parker's surgery on his lip and nose.  I have a real mix of emotions right now.  Over the last few days, Spence and I have shared a strange emotion of sadness knowing that Parker won't look the same after today.  That sounds crazy- I mean, of course we want him to have surgery and to have his repair.  But the little Parker we love has looked this way all 10 weeks of his life, and now he is going to look- well, different.  Before he was born, the honest feeling I had regarding a cleft lip was fear because it honestly scared me.  But, I look at this beautiful child and all I see is his precious, perfect face.  Dr. Chen actually warned us about this a long time ago.  We thought it sounded crazy, but now we totally get it.  It's an emotional roller coaster.

Dr. Chen at our last appointment.  He was impressed with Parker's size!

Last week, we met with Dr. Chen and asked a multitude of questions.  We will arrive at Palmetto Health Children's Hospital at 5:30 a.m.  Parker will be Dr. Chen's first surgical patient at 7:30 a.m.  The anesthesiologist will put Parker under with gas, someone will bag him while the physician gets an IV line, and then they will intubate him for surgery.  The case should take about 1.5 hours.  The PACU nurse will recover him, and when he wakes up, he supposedly will take a bottle there.  Amazing!  Apparently this won't be bad at first because his lip will still be numbed.  Then we will go to a regular floor bed to stay overnight and monitor how he does.  If all goes well- we will go home the next morning.  For pain control, he will have a tylenol/codeine elixir.  And the saddest part- poor P will have to be in arm restraints for a week.  Won't that be fun?  I'm just thinking of it as a long swaddle time!

My stepmom, Kim, was sweet enough to come help us out and be here for moral support this week.  She got here on Sunday.  It's so nice to have someone here for us, and I will feel better knowing she will be helping take care of Jack while we stay over night.  Back to the emotional discussion, there is definitely a little anxiety over how everything will go.  There is also a sense of relief that we are going to be one step closer to being done with this process.  We have a lot of anticipation in wondering what he will look like.

We took a last set of pictures of his beautiful face before tomorrow.  Spence and I wrapped up the night with holding him and praying for him, his health care providers, and for a smooth experience.  I honestly don't feel too stressed, and I think it's because I really do TRUST that God will see us through it all- He always does.

 This next set of pictures is PRICELESS!  Spence was playing with Parker during our little photo shoot.  He tried to put him on his shoulders, and within seconds, Parker burped and regurgitated thick, mucus milk out his mouth and nose- ALL over Spencer's hair, shirt and pants.  Spence- who does not like to be dirty, was repeatedly saying, "someone take him," but all Kim and I could do was laugh hysterically and try to take pictures.  You are a good sport, Spence.

So far, so good 

Oh my!

perfect timing.  Fortunately it was bath time for Parker, but Spence beat him to it!